Friday, August 29, 2008

Adventures in Con-ing 2

Hi... I'm Jade and I'm a Geek.

(Everybody together now... "Hi Jade!")

I'm a wife. I'm a mom. And I'm a Sci Fi Geek, Band Geek, and casual gamer.

I've been meaning to come in here and introduce myself since PPG started this blog, but you know... it's just sorta been a crappy month. But I'm here now, fresh from an adventure in Geek-dome... PAX. (Penny Arcade Expo - a gamer's Con) I wasn't even sure I'd be able to go - given that it's scheduled over Labor Day Weekend and there are quite a few events that we would like to attend over the course of the next few days... but I had a two part mission to fulfill.

Part One: Get a copy of Wil Wheaton's limited edition chapter book "Sunken Treasure" (available only at cons this summer!)

Part Two: Get Wil Wheaton to autograph a photo of him that *I* took at the ECCC (Emerald City Comi-Con) last May.

(Part Two.point.five - if I had time - was to at least check out the Nintendo DS area)

So I didn't pre-register for the con, because I wasn't sure what day (if any) I could go... I figured I would just get a couple copies of the photo printed up, cross my fingers, and keep my eyes open for opportunities to sneak out of the house. I presumed I would spend the weekend triple checking the schedule and trying to slip away, but as luck would have it I had a wide open window this very afternoon, during Wil's first autograph session. Realizing the golden opportunity before me, I snagged it... donning my recently acquired Geek Shirt:


(If you can't read the shirt, it has a series of polyhedral die and says "Choose Your Weapon")

I headed out the door for Seattle.

Considering this is the weekend for PAX, Bumbershoot and some kind of big sports game (I think I heard Seahawks, but I could be wrong) the traffic was surprisingly light on my drive. Going the right direction off the freeway this time, I made it to the convention center from my neighborhood in about 20 minutes flat... to find a big barricade and a friendly sign indicating "GARAGE FULL". I inched down the block to a red light, which gave me a few minutes to get my bearings. Another garage appeared to be available a block down, so I set my sights on that and slipped through the entrance when the light turned green.

Then I drove up... and up... and up... and up... it was a vortex of parking levels - disorientingly gray and dark and dismal and humid. One other car embarked on this journey with me... each of us climbing each level, pausing at the corner to assess the line of bumpers to either side, and cruising on to the next level. Finally, at the topmost area (one floor *above* where the elevators reach) we both found a few empty spots, and tucked our cars away. I took a few minutes to memorize the floor level and approximate location of my car (only 7 levels? It felt like 20 while driving) and sought out the elevator.

As I said... the elevator didn't actually reach all the way to this level, but I did see a set of stairs, and a bunch of guys headed that direction. They were each over 6 feet tall easily (probably 6'3" - 6'5") and I'm guessing about 250 a piece. All dressed in black pants, some variety of black nerd shirt, a few with unbuttoned silk-like bowling shirts over. At least three of the six carried messenger bags.

Gaming gear. These guys are going the same direction I am... so I followed them down the stairs and over to the elevator bay.

For those who haven't met me in person... I'm roughly 5 feet tall and 120 pounds, so I felt a wee bit like I was in the company of giants as I assimilated myself with this group. But they were nice, one of them held the door to the bay open for me, so I guessed I didn't have to worry about being overlooked and stepped on. When the doors opened to the tiny little elevator, I stepped inside swiftly and leaned against the back bar. The guys followed me in, and the doors paused before closing.

"I'm waiting for the beeping to start," said one.

"You think we're over the weight capacity?" asked another.

I smiled. "I can always step out if it's a problem," I said.

They looked at me and laughed. The guy next to me looked down and said, "Yeah... I don't think you're going to be the problem here."

The doors closed, and the elevator creaked into motion.

"Maybe we should roll a d20 to save weight," said the blond in the corner... we all laughed.

The elevator stopped a couple floors down and the doors opened to another Con-goer. The group parted slightly, allowing him to squeeze into the nearly full elevator.

"Think skinny thoughts!" said the blond.

"Yeah... we might have to drop some loot here," his friend answered.

Down to level two, the elevator slowed to a squeaky halt and dinged again.

The guy in front of me spoke this time. "Alright, the next person on this thing is the first one eaten if we get stuck!" We all laughed, but as the doors opened we realized that the second level was street level, so we bustled out of the elevator to the fresh air outside.

Across the street, through the big glass doors, and up three levels of escalators we made our way to the convention floor. I parted ways with the Gamer Giants when they stopped at the "Credit Card" line for tickets and I was able to saunter over to the MUCH shorter "Cash Only" line. (It pays to hit the ATM first, folks!)

This con is huge. MUCH larger than ECCC. In fact... the room that held ECCC in May was the room they were using to hold the LINE to walk *in* to this con. So you can imagine my confusion when I turned from the ticket booth to walk through the doors... expecting to see a con and being faced with miles of yellow Police Line tape directing the thousands of people up and down the length of the convention floor. I had a mild sense of panic... I only had this narrow window this afternoon to get the book/autograph, and it was easily an hour or more of line in front of me. The line moved with plenty of speed, but it was LONG.

The worst part, though, was that as I entered the line and moseyed up and down the floor, I read through the program and I couldn't find the booths for the meet and greets anywhere on the expo floor. The Con was spread over several rooms (hell... several BUILDINGS) and I wasn't even sure I needed to be in that line. About halfway through my second run up the room (only 5 minutes or so, thankfully) I found an "Enforcer" (staff) and pulled him aside.

"I'm trying to find out where to go for... one of the panelists is going to have a booth somewhere but I don't think it'll be on the expo floor... so I'm not sure I need to be in this line?"

(That was a coherent question, right?)

"Who are you looking for?" he asked.

"Wil Wheaton."

"Ah... isn't he keynote? Where is the room for that..."

"No, he was keynote last year, he's on panels this year but he's also selling books at a booth somewhere..."

"OK... that's not on the expo floor, that'll be over in the skybridge area. You'll want to go around all these people to get there, but it's sort of in the same direction... just keep going where they are going and it's right before the expo room."

Here's the crazy thing, and it's hard to describe without scanning the map (which I'm too damned lazy to do right now... sorry) but the damned skybridge IS the entrance to the expo room. It's not near it, or around it, it IS it. So going with the directions given to me by the Enforcer, and with nobody official ever stopping me or pointing me in any other direction, and feeling entirely lost, I walked AROUND literally thousands of people, down a narrow hall, and into the expo entrance in 5 minutes.

What the hell was that? I still have no explanation.

But there I was, and Wil's booth was directly in front of me, and I stood there... third in line... 4 minutes after he was scheduled to start signing.

Sweet.

He arrived slightly late and talked with the first person in line as he set up his booth. I didn't bring my camera this time, since I wasn't there for any panels I just didn't want to lug it around... so I had nothing to fidget with except my DS.

I worked on my Sudoku puzzle quietly and tried to pretend I wasn't nervous.

I overheard bits of his conversations with the people in front of me. He recognized the couple and talked to them at length, signing the books they were purchasing. The guy directly in front of me asked him how his rib was doing (he recently hurt his rib and has been on pain meds for it) but being next in line made me all nervous again so I kept staring at my DS and trying to breathe. When it was my turn I stepped up to the table.

"Hey there! How are you?" he asked, with a tone and look that suggested he'd seen me before.

"I'm doing really good, actually, how are you?"

"I'm good! You were here..." then he looked contemplative... "last year? No... no... Emerald City."

I smiled. "Yes I was. And you know... you didn't recognize my screen name, but I thought about it afterwards and realized that if you didn't know my initials, my screen name looks like "jaded-do" when you read it."

Don't ask, I have no idea why that was the first thing I blurted out. Just... don't ask.

He did laugh a little at that.

"So, I wanted to get one of your chapter books," I started.

"Sweet!" He pulled the top one from the pile and numbered the next one down. I got number 74 of 200. He leaned over to sign it, then looked up at me and said, "OK, so I'm going to need you to tell me your name again... I forget names because I'm a dick like that."

I laughed. "Well, you have a lot going on," I said.

He smiled. "Yeah... I do."

*pause*

Oh shit... my name. "Jerry Ann." (Hey look everyone! I got the Ann in there this time! Sweet.) "and I was hoping that you might sign one of the pictures that I took of you at Emerald City?"

"Sure!" he replied.

As he wrote... (To Jerry Ann Awesome! Wil Wheaton) he reiterated... "I almost never forget a face, but names I just lose within minutes."

"I'm totally like that too," I said, "don't worry about it, I'm terrible with names."

As I was pulling the photo out he saw the picture and his face brightened a little, then he said, "You know... I read your.. was it your blog or your flickr stream?"

"Blog."

"Your blog... about how you were watching me to try and get sort of the timing down with taking pictures - to get the various expressions and stuff... and you know I thought about that, and I've never really paid attention to stuff like that before, but after reading that I feel like I've become a better photographer."

"Wow. That's... that's really cool!"

I'm going to pause the story for just a moment to reflect on this. That may honestly be the coolest most flattering thing anyone has ever said to me- that something I randomly said in my blog would have any sort of impact on how someone approaches photography is just... well beyond the "really cool" I replied with.

And I also want to pause to reflect on what this says about Mr. Wil Wheaton. Because when I saw him at ECCC I was struck by how closely he listened to each individual who came out to see him - and this is an extension of that observation. I was shocked enough that he took the time to read my blog entry about ECCC - the man is bombarded with writing projects and blogs and acting gigs, and... he's a busy guy - and he didn't just gloss over the story... he took the time to really read it and think about it. And that's just damned cool.

Resuming story...

I handed him the photo to sign and he looked a little lost... he had a ball point pen in his hand. "Man I really wish I had a sharpie for this."

"Oh damn... I was going to bring one too." I started to shuffle through my bag (thinking one would magically appear, apparently, because I don't think I actually have one) and I heard someone behind me drop their purse on the floor to dig.

Yeah.. it's a con. You can expect about every 4th person should have a sharpie.

"I left my sharpies in my backpack, because I'm a moron," Wil said. The girl behind me handed him the sharpie laughing, and I smiled and thanked her.

While Wil signed my photo, I began to babble just a bit. "Yeah, I remember the timing took me a while to really get because when you were reading from your newer material," (I point to "Happiest Days") "you were looking down a lot more and it was hard to get you... but your other stuff..."

He nodded and smiled. "I know the material a lot better."

I nodded back. "Yeah. You know I actually learned about the timing thing while living in Santa Cruz and watching the surfers... observing them sort of gave me a feel for anticipating the right shot."

He smiled and handed me back the photo, saying something that I can't quite remember, but it had something to do with him thinking the picture was a good shot (I just can't remember exactly what he said)

"Oh, do you want a copy? Because I had two printed, just in case, so I've got one here..." I started digging back into my bag.

"Yeah! I'd love that! Very cool!"

That was the point where I began to feel the eyes of the line behind me boring into the back of my head, so I handed him the picture quickly and reached up to shake his hand. "It was good to see you again."

"Oh you too!" he replied "and enjoy the show."

I'd kind of forgotten there was a con going on. :)

"Yeah... and you enjoy your stay in Seattle. It's supposed to be nice this weekend." (I'm not sure what relevance the weather has, since he'll be indoors at the con for most of it, but you know.. it just sort of came out.)

"It's always been nice when I've come here!" he said.

"Well then, come visit more often, because our summer was sort of fucky." I smiled and waved as I walked off.

I was rather proud of myself... I'd managed to make it into the con, found his booth, bought the book, got my photo signed, and didn't make too much of an ass out of myself...

...except for the minor realization that I didn't actually BUY the book. I got the book, it was signed and in my bag, but somewhere in the babble I'd managed to walk away without having actually paid for the book.

Oops.

What do you say in a situation like this? Do you stand in line again just to hand him some cash? Do you look like a dick barging in front of everyone right up to the table? (I couldn't do that! There's a sign right behind him that specifically states "Wil Wheaton says - Don't be a dick!") So I took a few moments at a drinking fountain to settle my breathing back down, and made my way back to the skybridge.

Oh holy shit, there was a long line for his booth, and I simply did not have the time to wait in it. I tiptoed my way over to the side of the line, sort of halfway between booths, and waited. He was talking to someone else and I didn't want to interrupt, but I also didn't want to look like a stalker. Thankfully, he looked up and made eye contact, and his face had a sort of nice "did you need something else?" questiony look.

"Um hi... wasn't there supposed to be a price on these books?" I asked.

"Yeah... did I forget to charge you?" he asked.

I laughed. "Yes, yes you did."

I was still giggling a little when I handed him the money. "Hey, it's a really chaotic day here."

"It is..." he said "Thanks for coming back!"

I smiled. "No problem. Take care." and I waved as I walked away.

That wasn't so bad, right? I paid, I left, I hopefully didn't annoy the people standing in line.

Here is the photo I had him sign (you'll have to imagine a signature in black sharpie over his left shoulder)



I chose this photo, because this he is telling the story of the first time he met William Shatner, and how nervous he was... standing there with his hand extended only to be ignored. This is an illustration of how I feel when I meet people in general - shy, nervous, vulnerable. I chose this photos because it reminds me that I'm not alone in feeling nervous, and that helps me feel a lot less nervous.

And now I have a signed photo of Wil Wheaton that nobody else has. So I get extra Geek Points for that.

:)

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Keep Dreaming Geeky Dreams

http://www.x-tremegeek.com/templates/SearchDetail.asp?productID=23638
I want this so freaking badly I can taste it. But it's more than my daughter's preschool tuition. Barring that, I think I need this - though want is another thing altogether in this case:
http://www.x-tremegeek.com/templates/SearchDetail.asp?productID=22938

And then, there's this:
http://www.x-tremegeek.com/templates/TshirtStoreDetail.asp?StyleID=184

Which goes perfectly with today's post. Baby afghans. I had a baby (my second) in April. I got the coolest freakin' handmade baby afghan EVER. To wit...



and just in case you need a closer view to "get" it...


Yeah, that's right. She knitted Earth's point of origin into the afghan.
FoxPhile, you RULE!
And to show, even more, how she rules... she's sharing how she did it with Keep the Geek readers. Though it looks complicated, FP would classify this as being "intermediate" in difficulty.



and the written directions:

Stargate Point of Origin Knit Baby Afghan Pattern.

Cast on 179 stitches. ( 24 stitches per motif x 7 motifs + 1 + 10 for side edges )

K1 P1 across 5 rows for the base

Each section is knit of 26 rows of Motif. 9 sections makes a nice size afghan.

Complete the piece with another 5 rows of K1 P1 across

Motif Rows (ABABABA pattern):

Row 1: K1 P1 K1 P1 K1 P across to last 5 stitches K1 P1 K1 P1 K1

Row 2: K1 P1 K1 P1 K1 K across to last 5 stitches K1 P1 K1 P1 K1

Row 3: K1 P1 K1 P1 K1
Alternate Motif A and Motif B across: ABABABA. End with one extra P1
Motif A: P24
Motif B: P4 K5 P7 K5 P3
K1 P1 K1 P1 K1

Row 4: K1 P1 K1 P1 K1 K across to last 5 stitches K1 P1 K1 P1 K1

Row 5: K1 P1 K1 P1 K1
Alternate Motif A and Motif B across: ABABABA. End with one extra P1
Motif A: P4 [K1 P1 8 times] K1 P3
Motif B: P5 K3 P9 K3 P4
K1 P1 K1 P1 K1

Row 6: K1 P1 K1 P1 K1
Alternate Motif A and Motif B across: ABABABA. End with one extra P1
Motif A: K4 [K1 P1 8 times] K4
Motif B: K24
K1 P1 K1 P1 K1

Row 7: K1 P1 K1 P1 K1
Alternate Motif A and Motif B across: ABABABA. End with one extra P1
Motif A: P4 [K1 P1 8 times] K1 P3
Motif B: P6 K3 P7 K3 P5
K1 P1 K1 P1 K1

Row 8: K1 P1 K1 P1 K1
Alternate Motif A and Motif B across: ABABABA. End with one extra P1
Motif A: K4 [K1 P1 8 times] K4
Motif B: K24
K1 P1 K1 P1 K1

Row 9: K1 P1 K1 P1 K1
Alternate Motif A and Motif B across: ABABABA. End with one extra P1
Motif A: P4 [K1 P1 8 times] K1 P3
Motif B: P7 K3 P5 K3 P6
K1 P1 K1 P1 K1

Row 10: K1 P1 K1 P1 K1
Alternate Motif A and Motif B across: ABABABA. End with one extra P1
Motif A: K4 [K1 P1 8 times] K4
Motif B: K24
K1 P1 K1 P1 K1

Row 11: K1 P1 K1 P1 K1
Alternate Motif A and Motif B across: ABABABA. End with one extra P1 Motif A: P4 [K1 P1 8 times] K1 P3
Motif B: P8 K3 P3 K3 P7
K1 P1 K1 P1 K1

Row 12: K1 P1 K1 P1 K1

Alternate Motif A and Motif B across: ABABABA. End with one extra P1

Motif A: K4 [K1 P1 8 times] K4

Motif B: K24

K1 P1 K1 P1 K1

Row 13: K1 P1 K1 P1 K1

Alternate Motif A and Motif B across: ABABABA. End with one extra P1

Motif A: P4 [K1 P1 8 times] K1 P3

Motif B: P9 K3 P1 K3 P8

K1 P1 K1 P1 K1

Row 14: K1 P1 K1 P1 K1

Alternate Motif A and Motif B across: ABABABA. End with one extra P1

Motif A: K4 [K1 P1 8 times] K4

Motif B: K24

K1 P1 K1 P1 K1

Row 15: K1 P1 K1 P1 K1

Alternate Motif A and Motif B across: ABABABA. End with one extra P1

Motif A: P4 [K1 P1 8 times] K1 P3

Motif B: P10 K5 P9

K1 P1 K1 P1 K1

Row 14: K1 P1 K1 P1 K1

Alternate Motif A and Motif B across: ABABABA. End with one extra P1

Motif A: K4 [K1 P1 8 times] K4

Motif B: K24

K1 P1 K1 P1 K1

Row 15: K1 P1 K1 P1 K1

Alternate Motif A and Motif B across: ABABABA. End with one extra P1

Motif A: P4 [K1 P1 8 times] K1 P3

Motif B: P10 K5 P9

K1 P1 K1 P1 K1

Row 16: K1 P1 K1 P1 K1

Alternate Motif A and Motif B across: ABABABA. End with one extra P1

Motif A: K4 [K1 P1 8 times] K4

Motif B: K24

K1 P1 K1 P1 K1

Row 17: K1 P1 K1 P1 K1

Alternate Motif A and Motif B across: ABABABA. End with one extra P1

Motif A: P4 [K1 P1 8 times] K1 P3

Motif B: P11 K3 P10

K1 P1 K1 P1 K1

Row 18: K1 P1 K1 P1 K1

Alternate Motif A and Motif B across: ABABABA. End with one extra P1

Motif A: K4 [K1 P1 8 times] K4

Motif B: K24

K1 P1 K1 P1 K1


Row 19: K1 P1 K1 P1 K1

Alternate Motif A and Motif B across: ABABABA. End with one extra P1

Motif A: P4 [K1 P1 8 times] K1 P3

Motif B: P24

K1 P1 K1 P1 K1

Row 20: K1 P1 K1 P1 K1

Alternate Motif A and Motif B across: ABABABA. End with one extra P1

Motif A: K4 [K1 P1 8 times] K4

Motif B: K24

K1 P1 K1 P1 K1

Row 21: K1 P1 K1 P1 K1

Alternate Motif A and Motif B across: ABABABA. End with one extra P1

Motif A: P4 [K1 P1 8 times] K1 P3

Motif B: P11 K3 P10

K1 P1 K1 P1 K1

Row 22: K1 P1 K1 P1 K1

Alternate Motif A and Motif B across: ABABABA. End with one extra P1

Motif A: K4 [K1 P1 8 times] K4

Motif B: K24

K1 P1 K1 P1 K1

Row 23: K1 P1 K1 P1 K1

Alternate Motif A and Motif B across: ABABABA. End with one extra P1

Motif A: P24

Motif B: P10 K5 P9

K1 P1 K1 P1 K1

Row 24: K1 P1 K1 P1 K1 K across to last 5 stitches K1 P1 K1 P1 K1

Row 25: K1 P1 K1 P1 K1

Alternate Motif A and Motif B across: ABABABA. End with one extra P1

Motif A: P24

Motif B: P11 K3 P10

K1 P1 K1 P1 K1

Row 26: K1 P1 K1 P1 K1 K across to last 5 stitches K1 P1 K1 P1 K1

After you complete the pattern in the ABABABA mode, repeat rows 1 thru 26, but start with Motif B and alternate Motif B and Motif A across: BABABAB.


(Sorry, I got bored of formatting about halfway through - I think I'll get this posted before another shiny object gets in the way!)

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

If They Say No, It Means a Thousand Times No!

Or How To Not Drive Yourself Insane With Your Children's Music

You've probably noticed by now how ... insipid ... kid's music seems to be. And if you haven't? Dude, you've got your iPod cranked way too loud - you'll be deaf by 50 and your kids are playing in the street. Granted, this solves the problem of having to listen to the kid's music but I'm thinkin' you're probably not looking for that kind of permanency.

So, I've got two recordings (which for the sake of differentiating between a recording of an individual selection and a collection of selections, so to speak, I will call an album, dated though the term may be) to suggest over the next couple days - the first is alt group They Might Be Giant's No! (which I'll review below), the second Sandra Boynton (yes, the Sandra Boynton of the fluffy cats, barking dogs, and lonely hippopotami fame)'s Dog Train - both of which provide a little blessed relief from unending verses featuring purple Osmond-toothed dinosaurs.

No! is actually one of 3 (I think, there could be more) They Might Be Giant's children's albums (the others being Here Come the ABCs and Here Come the 123s). The songs are ridiculous, true, but that's their appeal. These aren't songs written for what an adult wants kids to want - these are songs that appeal to kids on their level and, thank God, to we "adults" who haven't progressed much further.

No pleas for world peace or sermonizing here. From the creeptastic vibe of "The Edison Museum" to the plainly silly but oddly appealing "I Am A Grocery Bag", some of this album might appeal more to older children but my nearly 3 year old requests "Violin" (a very stream-of-consciousness recital of completely disparate objects), "In the Middle In the Middle In the Middle" (great vocals by Robin Goldwasser) , and "The House at the Top of the Tree" (beats the heck out of A Hole in the Bottom of the Sea) every time we get in the car and I've caught her singing "...one quarter of George Washington's head..." around the house - which is damn funny when you consider her (lack of) diction.

Honestly, I could do without "John Lee Supertaster" and she asks to flip by it but I think that's more a function of our respective ages than the song itself. "Robot Parade" is a favorite of hers though the anti-authoritarian bent underlying it escapes her I'm pretty sure (I hope!) and the mopy tones of "No!" make me laugh every time. I'm also hoping that the bedtime romp "Bed Bed Bed" rubs off on her soon! (Ok, so there is some propagandizing... not quite the same as sermonizing.)

One other thing... the songs are short. They say what they have to say and they stop. Good, bad, I don't know - but I know that kids don't get bored by them.

And now I think I need to go discover where they, indeed, make balloons and then sweep the kitchen floor because, unfortunately, I lost the "I Am Not Your Broom" battle.