If They Say No, It Means a Thousand Times No!

Or How To Not Drive Yourself Insane With Your Children's Music

You've probably noticed by now how ... insipid ... kid's music seems to be. And if you haven't? Dude, you've got your iPod cranked way too loud - you'll be deaf by 50 and your kids are playing in the street. Granted, this solves the problem of having to listen to the kid's music but I'm thinkin' you're probably not looking for that kind of permanency.

So, I've got two recordings (which for the sake of differentiating between a recording of an individual selection and a collection of selections, so to speak, I will call an album, dated though the term may be) to suggest over the next couple days - the first is alt group They Might Be Giant's No! (which I'll review below), the second Sandra Boynton (yes, the Sandra Boynton of the fluffy cats, barking dogs, and lonely hippopotami fame)'s Dog Train - both of which provide a little blessed relief from unending verses featuring purple Osmond-toothed dinosaurs.

No! is actually one of 3 (I think, there could be more) They Might Be Giant's children's albums (the others being Here Come the ABCs and Here Come the 123s). The songs are ridiculous, true, but that's their appeal. These aren't songs written for what an adult wants kids to want - these are songs that appeal to kids on their level and, thank God, to we "adults" who haven't progressed much further.

No pleas for world peace or sermonizing here. From the creeptastic vibe of "The Edison Museum" to the plainly silly but oddly appealing "I Am A Grocery Bag", some of this album might appeal more to older children but my nearly 3 year old requests "Violin" (a very stream-of-consciousness recital of completely disparate objects), "In the Middle In the Middle In the Middle" (great vocals by Robin Goldwasser) , and "The House at the Top of the Tree" (beats the heck out of A Hole in the Bottom of the Sea) every time we get in the car and I've caught her singing "...one quarter of George Washington's head..." around the house - which is damn funny when you consider her (lack of) diction.

Honestly, I could do without "John Lee Supertaster" and she asks to flip by it but I think that's more a function of our respective ages than the song itself. "Robot Parade" is a favorite of hers though the anti-authoritarian bent underlying it escapes her I'm pretty sure (I hope!) and the mopy tones of "No!" make me laugh every time. I'm also hoping that the bedtime romp "Bed Bed Bed" rubs off on her soon! (Ok, so there is some propagandizing... not quite the same as sermonizing.)

One other thing... the songs are short. They say what they have to say and they stop. Good, bad, I don't know - but I know that kids don't get bored by them.

And now I think I need to go discover where they, indeed, make balloons and then sweep the kitchen floor because, unfortunately, I lost the "I Am Not Your Broom" battle.